


One Soul

by Mom_Nicole, teacup_pup



Category: Captain - Fandom, Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Sadness, Suicide Attempt, Then happy ending, now with a part 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-21 14:31:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14286987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mom_Nicole/pseuds/Mom_Nicole, https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacup_pup/pseuds/teacup_pup
Summary: Steve can't go on without Bucky.Bucky needs Steve.





	1. Chapter 1

Seeing Bucky alive again was….everything Steve could have ever asked for, but now Bucky was gone to the wind and Steve was left…all alone again. Sure he figuared at first Bucky would need time to get his memories back and find himself once more, Steve could understand that, but it had been nine months since Bucky had left him on that bank barely alive and not one word from him.

Steve was resigned to the fact that Bucky just didn’t….want to see him anymore. He really couldn’t blame him. It was all Steve’s fault Bucky had suffered at the hands of Hydra in the first place….he wasn’t fast enough…he let him fall from that train. With a broken sob Steve finishes his task and sets it up how he needs it to be, with one final look around his lonely apartment, he does what needs to be done.

_____________________________

Bucky has had a long time to come to terms with what he’s done and who he is. It’s been a long and bumpy road and he knows it will take him a long time to fully recover, but now…all he wants to do is hold Steve in his arms and never let go of him again. He knows where he lives and it doesn’t take him long to get to queens, by the time he is in front of Steve’s apartment door, he’s so nervous, but excited too. He needs to see Steve so bad after so long and he hopes the dummy hasn’t been getting into to much trouble while he was away.

When he gets no answer after his 3rd knock he wonders if he should come back another time, but….something doesn’t feel right and Bucky has learned to trust his gut, so when he goes for the doorknob and the door opens, his worry sky rockets. He rushes in and stumbles over his feet as he stops dead in his tracks at what he sees in front of him. Steve hanging in the middle of the room, a thick rope around his neck, his face starting to turn blue.

“STEVE!”

Bucky runs forward grabbing a nearby chair and doesn’t waste any time jumping up on it and cutting the rope down with his metal hand. He tries catching Steve’s body with his own, but his love is heavy and they tumble down to the floor hard as Bucky frantically starts pulling the rope from around his neck. He’s sobbing and shaking, but he doesn’t care, he shakes Steve hard before the other man is coughing violently, with a broken sob that borderlines on a wail he’s clutching Steve to him so tightly as he rocks them back and forth. At some point Steve becomes aware of what’s going on around him and he starts sobbing with Bucky as he clutches at the other man just as tightly.

In a small apartment in Queens, two men sob together for what they almost lost, two men who later vow to never let something like this happen again, two men who share one soul finally find their other half again.


	2. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this second part was not written by me at all, it was written by the amazing: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacup_pup, he is such a wonder friend and a great writer and go give them some love.
> 
> thank you again so much for writing a part 2 <3

When the men get their breathing under control and it’s just Bucky’s measured exhales with Steve’s slow raspy inhales, Bucky slowly stands and picks Steve up with him. Steve is in no state to complain as Bucky carries him to the bedroom and lays him back on the bed with his head nestled in a pillow, eyes still closed. He sits on the other side of the bed and watches Steve’s chest anxiously, making sure he keeps breathing.

 

Eventually, his gaze travels up from Steve’s chest to his throat. Bucky is mesmerized by the periodic bobbing as Steve reflexively swallows. The motion looks difficult from… what that dumb man just tried to do… Bucky shakes his head and wipes away the last of his tears before laying down next to Steve and resting his cool metal hand on the blonde’s throat as gently as he could manage. He wanted to soothe away all the pain he could, and… he missed touching Steve.

 

It was hard to see the bruises in the low light, especially considering how quickly Steve healed, but Bucky had memorized how moonlight looks glancing off Steve’s pale skin years ago and it looked a little off still. He shuddered to remember why and scooted as close as he could to Steve without risking waking him up. Bucky ended up with his cheek almost pressed to Steve’s shoulder and his chilled hand still resting lightly on his throat.

 

Steve was warm. He was warm and alive and steadily breathing. Bucky was beyond relieved. He felt like he could never let Steve out of his sight again. The haunting thoughts of what happened this evening would cloud the back of his mind like a thunderstorm constantly on the verge of breaking and letting down torrents of rain. The storm couldn’t break. Bucky couldn’t break. He had to keep Steve safe.

 

Bucky was pulled from his steadily darkening thoughts by Steve’s breathing shifting like he was about to wake up. He sat up a little and looked down as Steve’s face scrunched up before his eyes slowly opened, looking around unfocused for a moment before settling on Bucky. He smiled down at the sleepy blonde before leaning in to gently kiss his forehead.

 

“Hey, Buck…”

 

Steve’s voice was rough with sleep, and- Bucky wouldn’t let himself think about the other reason. He just kept smiling and reached up with his metal hand to brush a few loose strands of hair away from Steve’s forehead. He was a little surprised by Steve’s alost kitten-like reaction of nuzzling against his hand with a soft sigh. It warmed his heart.

 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered in a soft voice. “How are you feeling?”

 

With a shrug, Steve rolled over onto his side and nuzzled his face into Bucky’s neck. Bucky sighed softly and wrapped his arms around Steve to hold him close, slowly rubbing his back. He knew that was a dumb question, but he wasn’t very good with words.

 

“I’ve been better,” Steve mumbled with a dry chuckle.

 

Bucky winced internally and held Steve tighter. He would never want Steve to come into any more danger, even in their line of work. If he had to step up and take on the mantle of Captain America, he would. Steve nuzzled sleepily into Bucky’s neck and sighed softly, his breath brushing across Bucky’s skin and making him shiver.

 

“I’m so sorry, Stevie. I should’ve noticed, I should’ve been here for you. I love you so much, you deserve to be kept safe. I should be able to keep you safe…”

 

Steve’s hair muffled Bucky’s words as he tried to reassure both of them. His hold loosened a little so he could rub both hands along Steve’s back, grounding his boyfriend in reality. Grounding himself. They both needed to forget what happened just a few hours ago.

 

The two men lay in silence, clinging to each other, as the night wore on. Neither could sleep and neither wanted to leave the relative safety of the bed and the other’s arms. They whispered sweet nothings and promises of eternal love, shifting a little until they could face each other and pepper little kisses on the other’s faces.

 

The sun rose to illuminate the two tangled together under a thin sheet. Steve had drifted back to sleep, drained from the events of the previous night. Bucky still watched the blonde sleep, soaking in his peaceful expression and letting his thoughts flow with the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed. Steve deserved this moment of serenity. He deserved a life full of these moments. Bucky could only hope he could manage to give his love the life he deserved.


End file.
